Archive for January, 2013

Nine things people say that i hate

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? ******** 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. ******** 3. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. pupusas right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it? ******** 4. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you’ve found it? ******** 5. When people say while watching a film “did you see that?” No Loser, I paid Rs.125 to come to the cinema and stare at […]

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Posted by Rajj - January 24, 2013 at 10:22 am

Categories: Quotes and sayings, Short Funny Jokes, very funny jokes   Tags: ,

Funny ways to prove things guide for lecturers

Proof by vigorous handwaving: Works well in a classroom or seminar setting.   Proof by forward reference: Reference is usually to a forthcoming paper of the author, which is often not as forthcoming as at first.   Proof by funding: How could three different government agencies be wrong?   Proof by example: The author gives only the case n = 2 and suggests that it contains most of the ideas of the general proof.   Proof by omission: “The reader may easily supply the details” or “The other 253 cases are analogous” Proof by deferral: “We’ll prove this later in the course”.   Proof by picture: A more convincing form of proof by example. Combines well with proof by omission.   Proof by intimidation: “Trivial.”   Proof by adverb: “As is quite clear, the elementary aforementioned statement is obviously valid.”   Proof by seduction: “Convince yourself that this is true! […]

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Posted by Rajj - January 22, 2013 at 10:07 am

Categories: Funny Quotes Sayings, very funny jokes   Tags: ,

Women quotes and sayings

Women like silent men. They believe that they are listening. The estimate of a woman is much more accurate than a man’s certainty. Most women have to enemies all the other women, most Men have the other men as allies. I do not deny that women are foolish, God Almighty created them so that they match the men. Women talk and talk they want respectively, while a man will only talk when something outside of him to talk drives – for example, that he can not find any clean socks. Sure some millionaires owe their success to their wives, but most women owe their success. Only so-called unobtrusive women experience true love; striking beauties are usually too busy with their own sex appeal. It is commonly said, the most beautiful woman in the world can not give as she has; this is all wrong. They are just as much as you think to receive, because this […]

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Posted by Rajj - January 21, 2013 at 5:16 am

Categories: Beauty quotes, Funny Quotes   Tags:

Vacancy at Wal-Mart

An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified — an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answers would determine who among them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest that thing you know?” Mike, the American, replied, “A THOUGHT. It comes without any warning; It just pops into your head. A thought is the fastest thing that I know..” “That’s very good!” replied the interviewer.   “And now you sir?” he asked Vladimir, the Russian. “Hmm…. let me see. A blink! It comes and goes without you knowing that it ever happens. […]

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Posted by Rajj - January 15, 2013 at 9:45 am

Categories: Short Funny Jokes, very funny jokes   Tags: , ,

Cool beauty quotes

“Beauty, without expression, tires.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson “Beautiful has nothing to do with looks. It’s how you are as a person and how you make others feel about themselves.” – Unknown “It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.”- Leo Tolstoy “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”- Margaret Hungerford “A smile is the best makeup a girl can wear.” “Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.” “Believe me, if i looked good, it’s not an accident.” – Nora Ephron “I’m tired of all the nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want – an adorable pancreas?”- Jean Kerr “Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.”- Confucius “If you can’t make it good, at least make it look good.” “You create beauty with your attitude, your behavior, your actions. Its all up […]

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Posted by Rajj - January 13, 2013 at 9:29 am

Categories: Beauty quotes, friend quotes   Tags: ,

Nice Hilarious quotes and sayings

To be wise you must first be young and stupid. A smile is a light in the window of the soul, indicating that the heart is at home. If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt. I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance. After being disappointed so many times, you start to lose hope in everything. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. Common sense is not a gift, its a punishment. Because you have to deal with everyone who […]

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Posted by Rajj - January 10, 2013 at 11:38 am

Categories: Funny Quotes, hilarious quotes, Quotes and sayings   Tags: , ,

best friend quotes and sayings

Friendship is like a wine, it tastes better as it grows older A friend gives you a shoulder to lean on when you cry, a true friend has a shovel ready to hit the person who made you cry over the head. Friend is the one who walks in when others walk out Waters may dry..flowers may die..but true friends will never say goodbye… A best friend will always find a way to love you even when you have done something that u cannot fix. Good friend put a smile on your face, great friends make you crackup do hard you practically pee your pants The best love is waking up to your best friend everyday! The most beautiful discovery best friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. A wife is […]

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Posted by Rajj - January 9, 2013 at 5:33 am

Categories: friend quotes   Tags: ,