hilarious quotes

Funny New Year Quotes

Here i present you some of the best, funny yet hilarious new year quotes ….   Mark Twain New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions. Brooks Atkinson Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. Bill Vaughan Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. P. J. O’Rourke The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to. Jay Leno Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have […]

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Posted by Rajj - December 27, 2013 at 11:42 am

Categories: Funny Quotes, Funny Quotes Life, hilarious quotes   Tags: , , ,

Best of Funny Friendship Quotes

A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.   The enemy of my enemy is my friend…   One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim   Let’s protest Friendship Day by having hot, friendship-ending sex.     You can’t ruin a friendship with sex that’s like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.   My ex wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.   Wanna see who your real friends are? Screw up and see who’s still there.   A friend will lend a hand when your’s is tired.   Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.   A friend with weed […]

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Posted by Rajj - September 24, 2013 at 4:11 am

Categories: friend quotes, Funny Quotes, Funny Quotes Life, hilarious quotes   Tags: , , ,

Hilarious Funny Quotes By Popular Persons

For your enjoyment and LOL some more Hilarious Funny Quotes By Popular Persons around the world… “Our basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted.” -Paul Pearshall “A rich man’s joke is always funny.” -Thomas Browne, Sr. “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.” -Will Rogers “And as I looked up, I was gazing on a hill, and in my spine I felt an icy, icy chill. And as I looked upon him, my heart was filled with fear. I was looking at a man sporting a funny crown, three nails, and a spear.” -Nate Ramer “At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t […]

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Posted by Rajj - June 23, 2013 at 4:14 am

Categories: Funny Quotes, Funny Quotes Life, hilarious quotes   Tags: , , ,

Nice Hilarious quotes and sayings

To be wise you must first be young and stupid. A smile is a light in the window of the soul, indicating that the heart is at home. If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt. I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance. After being disappointed so many times, you start to lose hope in everything. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. Common sense is not a gift, its a punishment. Because you have to deal with everyone who […]

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Posted by Rajj - January 10, 2013 at 11:38 am

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Statements to Ponder George Carlin Quotes

Few statements to ponder…… George Carlin Quotes … For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity   1. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren’t going as ghosts, but as mattresses? 8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? 9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is […]

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Posted by Rajj - October 12, 2012 at 6:00 am

Categories: famous quotes sayings, Funny Quotes, hilarious quotes   Tags: , ,

Famous and Funny Movie Quotes

Enjoy best of Famous and Funny Movie Quotes via www.thefunnyquotessayings.com * Charlie don’t surf! - Apocalypse Now * “It’s not that I don’t trust people, I just don’t trust the devil inside them”  - The italian job * “They loved him up and turned him into a horny toad.” - O Brother, Where Art Thou? * “I’m a werewolf, ok? Let’s not make a big deal about it.” - Dark Shadows. * Jesus. I got ‘em all! - Straw Dogs * Even though im no better than a beast, dont i have the right to live? – unknown * “For those regarded as warriors, when engaged in combat the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior’s only concern. Suppress all human emotion and compassion. Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God, or Buddha himself. This truth lies at the heart of the art of combat. ” - Kill Bill Vol 1 * “I’m going to make him an […]

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Posted by Rajj - May 31, 2012 at 6:53 pm

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Best Funny Quotes

I’ve got some more best funny quotes for laugh out loud (lol), i hope you will like it. * What a beautiful morning … the sun is shining, the birds are singing. Now where is that fast-forward button to 5 pm? * It is something like shooting birds in the dark in a country where there are only a few birds, I see no God up here * Intelligence is creative mind not extensive memory.. * Yells a man, it is dynamic. Shouts a woman, it’s hysterical. – Hildegard Knef * Some relations are like TOM & JERRY. They tease eacho ther but can’t live without each other. * Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. * Nagging is a more of a universal trait or rather a tool of women to hone their men to their taste. * A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts * when you […]

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Posted by Rajj - May 22, 2012 at 3:38 am

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Famous Funny Love Quotes

Famous and funny love quotes for your entertainment are below: When a girl is in love, You can see it in her smile .. When a guy is in love, you can see it in his eyes… Don’t try to understand a girl completely. If you do, then either you will go mad… or you will start loving her.. Nobody believes that M single…WTF… i mean to say “WOW THAT FANTASTIC” :D!! The brain is the most outstanding organ it works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from birth until you fall in love. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity I am not a perfect person, I make alot of mistakes… but still, I love those people who stay with me after […]

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Posted by Rajj - May 1, 2012 at 6:23 am

Categories: Funny Love Quotes, Funny Quotes, Funny Quotes Life, hilarious quotes   Tags: , , , ,

Funny One Liners Sidhuisms

Navjot Singh Sidhu is a former Indian cricket batsman, who took up television commentary and, more recently, politics following his retirement from the game. The funny one liners that are the trademark of his commentary are now popularly called “Sidhuisms” in India. Below is a great collection of his witty analogies and his comments which coined a new word ‘Sidhuism’ and fetched a mention at wikipedia. 1. You cannot make Omlets without breaking the eggs. 2. Come to my parlour said the spider to the fly 3. A dog kennel is no place to hide a sausage 4. You can never unscramble eggs. 5. Fattest pigs go to the butcher first. 6. All that comes from a cow is not milk. 7. This shot was as sweet as tooti frooti! 8. Great feathers make great birds! 9. My idea of a bird is 36-24-36. 10. As innocent as freshly laid eggs. […]

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Posted by Rajj - April 25, 2012 at 2:04 pm

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Funny Quotes on Life

Time to enjoy somewhat funny quotes on life.. – Sex and alcohol, it fuels the desire but kills the performance…!!! - Trust is like a paper once it’s crumpled it can’t be perfect again… – You never realize what you have till its gone ..Toilet paper is a good example. – People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. The confusion comes when people are used and things are loved. – At any given moment you have the power to say this is not how the story is going to end. – If you live your life fully, you will die only once. But if you are scared of every step, fear will kill you day after day. – Paulo coetho. - “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”- Buddha – When people ask dumb questions, I […]

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Posted by Rajj - April 20, 2012 at 7:40 am

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