Posts tagged "hilarious quotes"

Hilarious Funny Quotes By Popular Persons

For your enjoyment and LOL some more Hilarious Funny Quotes By Popular Persons around the world… “Our basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted.” -Paul Pearshall “A rich man’s joke is always funny.” -Thomas Browne, Sr. “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.” -Will Rogers “And as I looked up, I was gazing on a hill, and in my spine I felt an icy, icy chill. And as I looked upon him, my heart was filled with fear. I was looking at a man sporting a funny crown, three nails, and a spear.” -Nate Ramer “At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t […]

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Posted by Rajj - June 23, 2013 at 4:14 am

Categories: Funny Quotes, Funny Quotes Life, hilarious quotes   Tags: , , ,

Statements to Ponder George Carlin Quotes

Few statements to ponder…… George Carlin Quotes … For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity   1. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren’t going as ghosts, but as mattresses? 8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? 9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is […]

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Posted by Rajj - October 12, 2012 at 6:00 am

Categories: famous quotes sayings, Funny Quotes, hilarious quotes   Tags: , ,

cool funny pick-up lines

- Baby you turn my floppy disk into a hard drive… - Have you ever slept with a firefighter ? Want to ? – Here’s the key to my house, my car and my heart … – If i was God I’d make the world revolve around you. – When i say i cleaned my room I usually mean, I made a path from my door to my bed. -Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you would be guilty as charged… – I will show you my immovable rod if you show me your portable hole ! – Hello i am not available. – If you are my mother, i am busy trying to find a job so i can continue to support myself – If you are my girlfriend/boyfriend, i am busy charging my phone after the two hour conversation with u – If you are my room mate, […]

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Posted by Rajj - October 1, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Categories: Funny Quotes, Funny Quotes Sayings   Tags: , ,

Funny Marriage Sayings Quotes

Dedicated to married couples  and soon to be married, please relax and funny marriage sayings quotes … “In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.” -Woody Allen. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” -Rodney Dangerfield. Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband “Ah, yes, divorce…from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” -Robin Williams. “A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing.” -Duane Dewel. If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee, If you were my wife. I would drink it ! “When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.” -Helen Rowland “Eighty percent of married men cheat in America… The rest […]

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Posted by Rajj - May 13, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Categories: Funny Marriage Sayings, Funny Quotes   Tags: , , ,

Funny Amazing Simple Home Remedies

Well,  home remedies are easy and cost effective as we all know.  Today i present you some hilarious and funny but amazing home remedies.  My personal advice “DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME”  its just meant for entertainment # For high blood pressure patients – simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer. # Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache. # If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough. # Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. # If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. # Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan. # Avoid cutting […]

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Posted by Rajj - May 10, 2012 at 4:14 am

Categories: Funny Quotes, Short Funny Jokes   Tags: , , ,

Famous Funny Love Quotes

Famous and funny love quotes for your entertainment are below: When a girl is in love, You can see it in her smile .. When a guy is in love, you can see it in his eyes… Don’t try to understand a girl completely. If you do, then either you will go mad… or you will start loving her.. Nobody believes that M single…WTF… i mean to say “WOW THAT FANTASTIC” :D!! The brain is the most outstanding organ it works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from birth until you fall in love. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity I am not a perfect person, I make alot of mistakes… but still, I love those people who stay with me after […]

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Posted by Rajj - May 1, 2012 at 6:23 am

Categories: Funny Love Quotes, Funny Quotes, Funny Quotes Life, hilarious quotes   Tags: , , , ,

Funny Quotes on Life

Time to enjoy somewhat funny quotes on life.. – Sex and alcohol, it fuels the desire but kills the performance…!!! - Trust is like a paper once it’s crumpled it can’t be perfect again… – You never realize what you have till its gone ..Toilet paper is a good example. – People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. The confusion comes when people are used and things are loved. – At any given moment you have the power to say this is not how the story is going to end. – If you live your life fully, you will die only once. But if you are scared of every step, fear will kill you day after day. – Paulo coetho. - “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”- Buddha – When people ask dumb questions, I […]

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Posted by Rajj - April 20, 2012 at 7:40 am

Categories: Funny Quotes, Funny Quotes Life, Funny Quotes Sayings, hilarious quotes   Tags: , ,

Great hilarious quotes by best comedians

You will know the comedians somehow but i guess you haven’t come across great hilarious quotes by these best comedians, enjoy the hilarious quotes …. “If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.” –Bobcat Goldthwait “I’ve been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That’s where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister’s house and ask her for money.” –Kevin Meaney “My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That’s how she learned how to swim. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.’ ” –Paula Poundstone “In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?” –Warren Hutcherson “I have […]

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Posted by Rajj - April 15, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Categories: Funny Quotes, hilarious quotes   Tags: , ,

Cool Hilarious Funny Quotes and Sayings

Its time for you to enjoy hilarious funny quotes and sayings… – I failed in some subjects in exam, but my friend passed in all. Now he is an engineer in Microsoft and i am the owner of Microsoft – Bill Gates – I should just change my voice mail greeting to : “Please hang up and text me”. – I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday you really pissed me off. – Unknown AKA Anonymous – “When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don’t know how to spell anonymous.”-Unknown – I never make stupid mistakes, only very very clever ones… [one of my favorite funny quotes] – Three things a guy want to change about his girl is her last name, address and her viewpoint on men. -Kid Cudi – Thank you for reading this. i’ve officially wasted your time. LOL […]

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Posted by Rajj - March 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Categories: Funny Quotes Sayings, hilarious quotes   Tags: ,