Vacancy at Wal-Mart
An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified — an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino.
He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answers would determine who among them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest that thing you know?” Mike, the American, replied, “A THOUGHT. It comes without any warning; It just pops into your head. A thought is the fastest thing that I know..” “That’s very good!” replied the interviewer.
“And now you sir?” he asked Vladimir, the Russian. “Hmm…. let me see.
A blink! It comes and goes without you knowing that it ever happens. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know.” “Excellent!” said the interviewer.
“The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.”
He then turned to Matthew, the Australian who was contemplating his reply. “Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, the light in the barn comes on way out across the pasture. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of.” The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. “It’s hard to beat the speed of light,” he said.
Turning to Romario, the Filipino, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Romario replied, “Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et’s obyus to me dat the fastest thing is Diarrhea.” “WHAT!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats…”Oh, I can expleyn sir,”
said Romario. “You see, sir, da ader day my istumach was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the bathroom, but bepore I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, sir, I had alreydi shet in my pants!”
Romario is now the new “Greeter” at Wal-Mart.