Cool Hilarious Funny Quotes and Sayings

Its time for you to enjoy hilarious funny quotes and sayings…

- I failed in some subjects in exam, but my friend passed in all. Now he is an engineer in Microsoft and i am the owner of Microsoft – Bill Gates

- I should just change my voice mail greeting to : “Please hang up and text me”.

- I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday you really pissed me off. – Unknown AKA Anonymous

- “When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don’t know how to spell anonymous.”-Unknown ;)

- I never make stupid mistakes, only very very clever ones… [one of my favorite funny quotes]

- Three things a guy want to change about his girl is her last name, address and her viewpoint on men. -Kid Cudi

- Thank you for reading this. i’ve officially wasted your time. LOL

hospitals where positive means bad thing

- I hear there’s a new app call “sense of Humor.” Download it moron.

- Smile, it scares people ..

- Dear Radio Stations, you know there’s more than 5 songs in the world, right?!


A: My Answer: a place where insane people live!

- A good man can make you feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world…Ohh sorry that’s wine…. wine does that.

- Going into the unknown is how you expand what is known.

- If you can’t do a pull-up, you have a problem.

- “HAVE PATIENCE” is the favourite word of lazy people

- 3 people = Threesome, 2 people = Twosome and 1 person = ???? Guess ..!!!! one-some..!! No its hand-some

- I don’t have drinking problem, i am just really thirsty ..

- I don’t drink these days, i am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. – Robert Downey, Jr

-It is bad to suppress your laughter, it goes back down to your hips.

- People say you can’t live without love … I think oxygen is more important :)

- Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance ?

- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people …

- A BOSS is like a diaper.. Always on your ass, and usually full of sh … it

- Adults are just kids with money …

- Good friends don’t let you do stupid things alone ..

- I stopped fighting my inner demons. We are on the same side now.

- Life is too shor to spend with people who suck the happiness out of you…

- Boyfriends are like sticky tape- once you get one you can’t seem to shake them off !!

- This room is full of people that think you are funny.

- You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. -funny birthday quote

- Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Friends, please remember to keep your eye on this post. I will be updating this post more often for more cool hilarious funny quotes and sayings